Transition

Levin - a view from the trig

Last week, as we said goodbye to 2017 and  our family and friends also said goodbye to my father. He was the first of his siblings to go, the first and only if them go get a tertiary education, and the only one that still had any teeth remaining in his mouth!

The call came through while I was in Nepal and I’d been planning to go to India that day but dragged my bike and my three sets of clothes back to NZ so that I could participate in the transition that was my father’s farewell. He didn’t think he was going to die any time soon and we’d begun to believe him! But there it was, Dad in a calico lined eco coffin ready to be shipped off to eternity. What was his favourite scripture? No idea? That guy loved the whole book! Who should take the service? He could have whipped a plan up in an hour. Where was his pounamu? Who should speak? What were we doing?

What about all those grand ideas? What a great pursuit. What do we do with them now? It’s a transition from present to past tense. He is bit now he was. They are his and now they were his.

It wasn’t an easy journey with you Dad. I think you know that. Turns out there are no fairy tail endings but we’re ok and I guess I’d want you to know that I have no regrets. 

Each of my family members feel the transition, perhaps none more acutely than the legend that is my Mother. I’m in transition too. Now that I have been in Cambodia for around 4 years it’s time for me to consider engineering a change. The PhD should be done soon and I’d like to mix things up. What would happen if there were a day job? or a someone special? or maybe a new Bike? At the very least I’ve got to sort out that dirty old student loan! 

My plan is to stand up the projects I’m involved with so that they don’t need me so much and to renegotiate what I’m doing. It’s time for the next phase, 2018 is a year for being open.

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For those that are interested here is what I shared at the funeral:

These are the things I’d like to emulate about my father

Curiosity - this was seen in his book collection and his research online. If there was a book that he ‘needed’ then there would always be a way that he could find it... this curiosity was the driver for life long learning. 

Belief in change - he always believed in the ability of a person to transform themselves, That nothing was stagnant that he could form new habits. He believed that through God, he could renew himself day by day. This belief in change was the driver for his refreshed interest in washing dishes after his retirement. 

His steady love for my mother - there was never a question in his mind about the fact that they were meant to be together. In many ways they have opposing personality traits, and while others might say that this was a recipe for conflict, all he saw was that they would compliment each other. When he came over to Cambodia with me in 2011, he shared a lot about his story, about his feelings and experiences across the years. I think that one of the things that struck me most was the way that he described the feeling of being near her. He loved the sound of her pottering, of her preparing a meal, of her fluffing about. That sound of her in the next room. That sound or feeling of being near her was something that he didn’t feel he could live without. 

So now dad, it’s time for me to give thanks for what you brought to my life and how you shaped me. I hope that curiosity will drive my Research to find new knowledge, that I would be continually transformed and that those around me might feel the love that I feel by being in their presence. Thanks Dad. I’ll catch you in a bit...